Sometimes language cannot make it really clear what we are attempting to express. Let’s look at ”love”. Loving emotions can be expressed about many things: your loved ones, your food, your husband, your favorite football team, your pets, your wedding dress, or your evening beer.
Clearly loving God is quite a different concept from loving your job. Love for your family is a completely different concept from loving a specific brand of beer. The word “love” is used in all cases, however the meaning depends on what the object of the love is. Love by itself has little meaning.
Let’s take a look at “touch”. You touch the touchpad of your notebook. That’s a very mechanical, non-emotional concept. You can touch someone’s body. That might be anything from friendly to sensual to sexual to painful to lethal according to the kind of touch.
A massage therapist can touch you in a clinical way. Some massage therapists have the magic touch and can take you into a blissful state. Sometimes we are ‘touched’ by a story we read or a movie we watch.
One word with more than one meaning. Touch might be mechanical, sensual, loving, aggressive – without knowing the circumstances, touch has no clear meaning of its own. The meaning of a touch lies in our intention. When we touch objects, our intentions are clear. Where it gets confusing is when we touch humans.
When you touch a cat or a dog, they simply roll over and enjoy it. It is not an issue for them if you are a man or a woman. They just love it. No mind games here. The same goes for babies and young children. They love being touched and cuddled. They also naturally touch each other without any reservation.
Some years ago a very interesting study was conducted with new born babies. One group of babies was held and touched all the time, and the second group was deprived of all touch. The study had to be cut short since the vital symptoms of the babies who were not being touched began to go down dangerously.
Clearly babies and young children enjoy being touched. However at some point things change and suddenly a loving touch is not considered enjoyable anymore, but rather becomes embarrassing and awkward. When does this happen and why? It is ‘educated’ out of them, and the adults stamp their behavior on their children.
In the realm of adults we have to contend with issues like religious beliefs, cultural taboos, insecurity and fear, and mental projections. If a man hugs another man, it could be a friendly back-slapping affair. But many men link physical contact with other men to homosexuality and therefore avoid touching or hugging.
If a man hugs a woman, it could be an enjoyable connection or it could be seen as an unwanted come-on. When adults touch each other, their minds enter the picture. Cultures have their own particular rules regarding touch. For example Arab men kiss other men on the cheeks as a greeting, but to try this on an American man would be a very embarrassing situation. In one country hugging is normal, in another it is totally inappropriate.
Physical touch among adults is truly a “touchy” subject. Naturally humans love to be touched, but often they shy away from the experience because of cultural or religious rules, abuse by mal-intentioned people, insecurity, or even legal issues. This is where massage therapy can be an ideal way of eliminating all those issues and allowing one to accept and enjoy touch for what it is – a wonderfully pleasant feeling.